wild and free//my life
I've had so many versions of this post written and none of them have felt right.
I'm finishing up a bridal session after working for a full thirteen hours today and have yet to pack for a conference I'm headed to in less than ten hours.
And this, this season I'm in...it's exhausting.
So here I am, writing to bring clarity about this season I'm in, to make sure that my followers, friends and other photographers know the rawness of the past few months. I could go into the reality of being self-employed-the problems of not knowing when clients are coming, the difficulties in time management and the stress-OH, the stress-but most of you probably already know that from when you've asked me how I'm doing.
My life is not glamorous.
So if I've taken a few days to email back, if I haven't gotten to that coffee date with you or if seem preoccupied...have grace with me. I'm sorry.
There is no doubt that I have loved the past few months. I've had more adventure, spoken more boldly and been more excited than I have in a very long time. I've been able to take so many trips, drive the entire west coast, see concerts, have creative freedom working for a non-profit that I adore and shoot too many weddings and couples to count. I have loved it.
But that doesn't mean it's been easy, care free or (most noticeable) stress free. It's been the opposite. So much so that I have had to be so, so intentionally focused on the adventures over the never-ending to-do lists, the stories over the stress and the light over the darkness. And every time that it seems a season is over, that my schedule calms down, things whip back up again, appointments and meetings are booked and out of nowhere I have four shoots to edit. None of this to say that I'm not at fault because the reality of the situation is that I am. I can't blame my calendar for being so full and myself for being so overwhelmed without facing the times when I've prioritized work over people, listened to fear over courage and let control win over faith in God.
But patterns can be ended and the chains of work, fear and control can be broken. Not to say that it's easy but that mental decision to not let those things hold me captive, hold you captive...that's huge. The practical steps will follow with time if you allow them but the decision to stand up to those walls and barriers and plan to break.them.down., that's worth celebrating. That freedom is worth celebrating.
So off I go, the next two weeks a whirlwind of an out of state photography conference, two weddings, an editorial shoot and then driving to Colorado. But that's okay because that freedom offers new and redemptive beginnings.
I've been meeting with a lovely group of ladies the past few weeks to celebrate being creative and Wild and Free. Titled the Wild and Free Collective, April, Lacy, Jessi and I doing doing just that-being creative and wild and free. The idea having begun with my sweet friend Jessi and now constantly on my own mind, has gotten me excited about this freedom that I fully plan to take hold of and run with. Not hold on tightly like obstacles in the past but hold with open hands and a wild heart, ready for whatever may come God brings way.
So join us.
Be wild and free. Rejoice in freedom. Climb the mountain with your hands wide open.
I will climb this mountain with my hands wide open
I will climb this mountain with my hands wide open.
There's nothing I hold onto
there's nothing I hold onto
PS-Since I wrote this late at night, Jessi happened to write about the same thing today for Naptime Diaries! Make sure to check it out here.